Amanda bursts up pointing, “Daddy look, there’s one!!” My sightline follows her tiny arm. “Do you see it daddy?”
“Oh my word, yes I do honey.” Of all imaginable things there stands a unicorn grazing in the meadow below. With each step electric glitter falls from its underbelly.
“Daddy catch it for me. Will you catch if for me daddy?” Elated words mirrored with an endearing mini bounce, glimmering glitter surrounds my baby girl.
“Nine!!!”
“Nine what? I need to lasso that unicorn. I need a truck! Where is all that damn noise coming from?”
“Ten, and the winner is ….”
Written for the weekly Friday Fictioneers hosted by our gracious host Rochelle Wisoff – Fields. This week’s prompt is from J. Hardy Carroll. Read other takes and enter your own here.
I think he’s truly out for the count this time. Nicely done, Dan. I didn’t get it first of all but now I do, I love it.
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Story is told from a different point of view. I like that, but still kind of clunky. Your stories flow so evenly. Thanks for the reread and kind words.
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Dear Dan,
Ah. I had to read this more than once. Light dawns. I get it. Well done!
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks for the second look Rochelle. BTW we visited a Synagogue in Curacao. I should not have been surprised by the sand floor. But I was.
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There’s some lovely things in your story, Dan.
First off, I loved the inclusion of a unicorn in a boxing story; that’s a brilliant idea. Then the line “Elated words mirrored with an endearing mini bounce” is just such a beautiful way of describing a little girl’s excited request.
Then “electric glitter” – far out, man!
Then “I need to lasso that unicorn” which juxtaposes the practical with the mythical.
And finally, your twist at the end, when you reveal that these are the thoughts of a KOd boxer.
And as for ‘kind of clunky’ – not a bit of it. You tell the tale fluently and smoothly.
Well done indeed!
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Oh wow, Penny thank you so much for the kind words. You described exactly how I meant it to be received. We must be on the same Electric Glitter wave length.
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Never had a knock-out sounded more enjoyable… much be better than the pain.
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The boxer certainly was in “La La Land.”
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That’s pretty subtle. At first I had to pull my mind away from all the shuffle I’ve been watching on youtube – light up shoes and electric glitter.
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Story is from a weird perspective. Funny thing is I went to sleep with photo in mind. Woke and it pretty much wrote its self. Thanks for ready.
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I loved it! What a great way to describe the knock-out!
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Thanks Dale. Boxers have kids too.
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That they do… when they manage to find someone who likes a crooked nose, puffy eyes and slow speech… 😉
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That would make the saying true. Love is blind,,,, and hard of hearing.
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There is that…
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I was a bit slow on the uptake here, Dan, but I agree with others that it’s a lovely take on a knock out. I love Dad’s practicality kicking in, thinking of ways to lasso a unicorn – and so surreal, just as dreams are. Great, original take on the prompt
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The story sort of popped into my head when I woke. I think that explains the groggy not sure what’s going on approach. I purposely do not read any FF stories until I publish. Thanks for reading Electric Glitter and your kind review.
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My pleasure. It was a really interesting take on the prompt – an original
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I was hit hard enough to see stars once. Wish there had been a unicorn grazing. I’d have lassoed the damn thing if I could have found my rope.
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I hope you do not get a 2nd chance.
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Me neither
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No, the story isn’t from a weird perspective, it’s from a delightfully different perspective. The bounce of the excited child, the addition of counting before we know why, the glitter, everything lines up perfectly for the reveal at the end. Very nicely done.
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You have an encouraging spirit Alicia. Thank you very much.
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Took me a few readings to follow the story, but really enjoyed it.
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Thanks for the extra study. I appreciate that.
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